Always Enough Read online

  The demons were still there, though, lurking deep inside me, and I knew if I didn’t keep my guard up, they’d reappear. It was a fear I lived with daily. An internal battle that sometimes kept me awake at night.

  “Smoke’s getting blacker,” my father said.

  With a mumbled curse, I pulled off my work gloves. “Let me call Brock, see if he can come help you with this fence.”

  “It’s almost done. You go on and see what that girl is burning to turn the sky so black.”

  “Lord only knows,” I said.

  I cleaned up the tools I’d used and then headed over to my truck. My father had met me here in the ranch truck, so I was able to just hop in to go see what the little pain in the ass was doing now.

  As I climbed into the driver’s seat, I called out, “Text me or call if you need any help, Dad.”

  “Will do!” he said, lifting his hand and giving me a smile.

  Turning on the truck, I said a quick prayer for God to give me patience when I got to Kaylee’s. It was something I found I lacked when it came to her. Never mind that she drove my body crazy just being near her, but that snarky little mouth of hers only made me want to kiss her to shut her up. And that wasn’t going to happen. Kaylee Holden was dangerous, and the last thing I could allow myself to do was give in to that temptation.

  One addiction was bad enough to battle. I sure as shit didn’t need two.

  Chapter Two

  KAYLEE

  I stood and watched the smoke from the burn pile turn to pitch black. It raced up into the air and covered the picture-perfect blue sky. I couldn’t even see the snow-covered mountains on the other side of the burn pile anymore. That wasn’t a good sign.

  “Oh shit,” I whispered as I looked at the old tractor tire I had thrown into the fire. “That might not have been the best idea.”

  The sound of a truck pulling up had me waving my hand in the air to clear out the smoke. Hopefully it wasn’t the fire department again. The last time they were here, I had set fire to a pan filled with grease in my sink. Who would have known how easily grease fires started?

  Walking toward the gravel drive, I felt my heartbeat pick up. God help me. It was worse than the fire department . . . it was Ty.

  “Perfect, as if this day couldn’t possibly get any worse.”

  I was covered in dirt, smoke, and Lord only knows what else, and Ty Shaw was walking toward me, looking as handsome as ever, which made my heart race a little bit more. The man was too good looking for his own good, and what made him even more attractive was he didn’t act like he knew it.

  “What is it with you and fires, Kaylee?” Ty asked, a sexy-as-sin smirk on his face as he walked over to me.

  Lord, that smile. Dark-brown hair and eyes the color of the Montana sky. Not to mention the smoking-hot body.

  I chuckled to myself at the irony of the “smoking-hot” reference, with my huge fire going behind me.

  With a half shrug and a wink, I replied, “What can I say, I have weird fetishes.”

  Ty’s eyes darkened with a sexual look that left my lower stomach pulling with desire. We constantly danced around the fact that we were sexually attracted to each other. Or maybe I just secretly wanted him to want me, because truth be told, I wanted this man like no other. My poor overworked vibrator could back up that claim.

  “Is that so? Fire?”

  “Don’t worry,” I egged him on. “I keep it out of the bedroom.”

  Ty stared at me for the longest time before he turned to the fire. “What in the hell did you put in there? It looks like you’re burning rubber. Smells like it too.”

  I cleared my throat. “Um, well. There were these old tractor tires, and I rolled one into the fire and—”

  Ty spun around and gaped at me. “You burned tires? Kaylee, it’s against the law to burn tires.”

  My eyes widened, and my heart raced like a hummingbird’s wings. “What? No one told me that!”

  “Why in the hell would anyone have to tell you that? We need to get away from this fire.”

  Ty grabbed my hand, making my breath catch in my throat simply from his touch; then he dragged me away from the fire.

  “Why?”

  “The toxins from the rubber are dangerous.”

  I looked back over my shoulder at the puffs of black smoke. “Good thing I only put one tire in, I guess, right?” Then I laughed, because what else was I supposed to do?

  Ty shot me a look that said he was either going to smack me or kiss me. The man was very confusing with the mixed signals he’d been sending since the first day I’d met him.

  “Honestly, I think it’s going to be fine, Ty.”

  But even in my lust-filled mind, I knew it wasn’t going to be fine, because I heard sirens in the distance.

  Closing my eyes, I pulled in a deep breath—then started coughing. The smoke was bad. Really bad.

  When I opened my eyes, Ty was looking at me. A slight smile on his face and a hint of something in those baby blues. What exactly it was, I had no idea, but it made my lady parts tingle. No one had made me feel like this since John, and even this feeling was different. More intense. Or maybe I just secretly wanted him to want me.

  A part of me felt guilty because I was ready to move on from John; another part of me hated that I was hung up on this guy standing in front of me who had no interest in me. He had made that clear after our first kiss.

  I smiled while trying to contain another coughing spell, which caused him to smile even bigger; then that morphed into a sarcastic roll of his eyes. “You’re going to be the first person I know who gets kicked out of Hamilton, Kaylee.”

  When he took my hand again, I tried really hard to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. Really, really hard. “Maybe, but history only remembers those who broke the rules, right?”

  Before he could admonish me again, and just as the trucks—yes, I said trucks—pulled up, Ty let go of my hand. The zap of disappointment surprised me. Why, I wasn’t sure.

  At first, I’d thought all I wanted was a good romp in the sack. It had been a long time since I’d been with a man, after all, and one good night of sex was a cure for anyone’s ills. But after we’d kissed that first night in the Blue Moose, Ty immediately changed. It was as if a switch had flipped, and the simple sight of me left him uneasy.

  For the longest time, I’d thought his reaction was due to the natural-deodorant phase I was going through. Maybe I smelled bad? But it wasn’t that. Ty had simply pushed me away.

  I got over it quickly, or at least I told myself that every time I saw him and he took my breath away. It was painfully obvious, though, that Ty didn’t share those feelings. Sure, every now and then he would do something that made me think he might want something more than friendship, but then he would distance himself all over again. It drove me mad. So instead I focused on the chaos in front of me right now.

  The fire trucks came to a stop, and I prepared for the worst. Channing Harrell was the first out of the truck. He looked my way and smiled, a knowing smile that spoke volumes. Like a what-the-hell-did-I-get-myself-into-again kind of smile. I couldn’t help but grin back at him. He was handsome. Dark-blond hair with stunning hazel eyes. I’d run into him a few times since the grease-fire incident.

  “Kaylee, if you want to see us, just invite us over for a cookout or something. After all, it’s not necessary to call out the big guns to see us whenever you want,” Channing said.

  I laughed. Ty, on the other hand, folded his arms over his chest and looked at me as he would a two-year-old who just got caught doing something naughty.

  “She threw a tractor tire into the fire,” he said, as if I’d committed a crime. Well, I guess in a way I had.

  Channing simply tsked my way and moved closer to me. “That is a punishable crime.”

  The way he was staring at me, with a heated look in his eyes, left me feeling slightly lightheaded. It was nice to have a man give me attention like that. I hadn’t really realized how lonel
y I’d truly been until I saw the fire in Channing’s eyes, and it wasn’t a reflection of the blaze burning behind me.

  Lifting my brow, I replied, “Is that so? What is the punishment for such an offense?”

  “Are we really doing this right now?” Ty snapped.

  Channing and I both ignored him. Channing, because he was too busy letting his gaze look my body over from top to bottom—thanks to the slightly warmer weather, I had on a pair of yoga pants that showcased my ass nicely and a sweater that accented my curves in all the right ways—and me, because I knew it annoyed Ty when I ignored him completely.

  “Dinner. Tonight.” Channing was so confident in his request that I seriously thought about it.

  I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and quickly looked at Ty. He huffed and headed over to the other firemen, who were busy getting their hoses and making their way to my toxic burn pile.

  Jerking my eyes back to Channing, I sighed. “I wish I could, but I promised Lincoln some girl time tonight. She’s been knee deep in diapers and breastfeeding for two weeks.”

  With a laugh that I found myself really liking, Channing nodded. “I get it. My sister had a baby a few months ago, and getting that little bit of time away every now and then is a lifesaver.”

  I looked over toward the fire. “So, am I really going to get into trouble for this?”

  He winked and shook his head. “I’ll take care of it. How about a rain check on that dinner date, though?”

  “Yes! For sure.”

  I was saying yes mainly because the guy was letting me off the hook with yet another task I’d taken on gone bad. I needed to really be more careful with fire in the future. Maybe I needed to avoid it altogether.

  “Friday night? I’m off.”

  A part of me panicked. Why was I so scared to go out on a date? It wasn’t like I didn’t want to meet someone. I was tired of being alone. Tired of endless nights of crawling into bed by myself.

  I took another glance in Ty’s direction. A rush of sadness washed over me, and I tried to ignore it. Why wasn’t it Ty who was looking at me the way Channing was? Why wasn’t it Ty asking me out? It wasn’t like I didn’t like Channing. I did. It was that my body and my mind liked Ty more. A whole lot more.

  “Can I get back to you? I have a book I’m trying to finish up for a client, and honestly, this fire has put me behind. I thought it would be a quick burn; apparently I was wrong.”

  We both looked toward the burn pile. Channing chuckled again, then turned to face me. “I’ll wait to hear back from you. I better go give the guys a hand.”

  “Thanks, Channing.”

  He turned and walked backward, a sexy smile spreading over his face. God, he looked hot in his firefighter uniform. What harm would it do to have dinner with the guy? It wasn’t like I’d be scraping the bottom of the barrel if I went out with him, after all.

  “Anytime, Kaylee.”

  Jesus, sex just dripped off my name as it passed between his lips. I bet the man was good in bed. Damn good, if I let my mind wander in that direction. He was sexy as all get out. The only problem was, he wasn’t as sexy as the cowboy walking toward me, the one who had a scowl on his face. That wasn’t anything new for Ty, though. It seemed just being around me made him unhappy.

  I started to say something to Ty as he approached, but he spoke first as he walked slowly past me, lowering his voice only enough for me to hear. “Could you eye fuck him any harder, Kaylee? The man has a job to do, after all.”

  My mouth opened, and for a moment I was devoid of words. So not like me. Not like me one damn bit. No matter what this man threw at me, I had always held my own. But his words felt like a brick landing in the pit of my stomach. Why did he have to be such a dick? What in the hell had I ever done to him?

  My moment of speechlessness didn’t last long.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I called back, “Yes, I could, but I was too busy fantasizing about the punishment he’s going to give me Friday night. Multiple punishments, from what I understand.”

  Ty stopped walking and turned to face me. He looked like he wanted to say something, then shook his head and scoffed. “Watch out, Kaylee. The last thing you want in this town is a reputation as someone who’s easy.”

  Anger pulsed through my veins. How dare he say something like that to me? He knew damn well I hadn’t dated a single person since I’d moved here last spring. Hell, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d had sex!

  I said the first thing that popped into my head, and the moment the words slipped out, I regretted them. I had let myself stoop to his level, but worse, I saw the hurt in his eyes.

  “You would know, wouldn’t you, Ty?”

  Chapter Three

  KAYLEE

  “He drives me insane. I don’t know if I want to stab him or run him over with my car. Maybe tossing him off one of these mountains is what I need to do . . . after I stab him and run him over.”

  Lincoln rocked slowly as she held Morgan in her arms, as if nothing I was saying was out of the ordinary. It wasn’t really, when it came to me and Ty. We constantly bickered. At times it was fun; other times, not so much.

  There were only two times in the past year when we hadn’t tried to kill each other and had actually gotten along. One was when we’d found out Lincoln was pregnant with Morgan. Which even Lincoln didn’t know at the time.

  The second was in Brock’s kitchen when we’d shared the second kiss. My heart had broken in two because I could see the torment on Ty’s face as he looked at the bottle of pills. I walked over, took the pills from him, and did the only thing I could think of doing. I kissed him. He had kissed me back, and for one moment my world felt whole again. That small empty feeling inside me was fulfilled, if only for the shortest amount of time.

  When I pulled back from him and saw nothing in his eyes, I turned and walked away.

  Ty Shaw wasn’t interested in me, and I needed to let that sink in.

  “What did he do now?” Lincoln asked, smiling down at Morgan, then looking my way.

  “He called me a slut.”

  Lincoln’s eyes went wide and she stopped rocking. “Brock will kill him.”

  “Well, he didn’t actually call me that.”

  She frowned. “Then what did he actually call you?”

  I shrugged. “He made it sound like people in town would think I was easy, all because I was doing some innocent flirting with Channing.”

  Lincoln’s brow rose. “You were flirting with Channing? The fire chief?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. A little.”

  “Do tell,” Lincoln said with a giggle and a naughty smile.

  “Well, I needed a bit of harmless flirting. And the idea of going out with a guy who actually wants to spend time with me is tempting. I’m tired of being alone. Crawling into bed every night without a warm body to snuggle up to is messing with my head.” I closed my eyes and sighed. “I just want to stop thinking about him.”

  Lincoln stood, and that caused me to open my eyes and look her way. She walked over to put Morgan in her bassinet, then leaned down and kissed her daughter before she faced me.

  “Let’s go for a walk. I’ll let Brock know.”

  Oh, great. My comments now had Lincoln’s radar up and running, and her need to protect me was pushed to DEFCON 5.

  After grabbing my coat, I slipped it on and stepped outside onto Brock and Lincoln’s large wraparound porch. The view of the mountains nearly stole my breath. Almost a year of living here and I still got lost to the mountains. Half the time they looked fake, and I felt like I was staring at a picture. Today they were covered in snow, the sun shining off their peaks and making them look like a million sparkling diamonds. I couldn’t help but smile. This was home now, and I would never get tired of this massive blue sky and beautiful country.

  “One of these days I’m going to hike you,” I said to myself and to no particular mountain.

  “Okay, Brock is on duty . . . let’s walk for a bit.”r />
  Lincoln wrapped her arm around mine and guided us down the steps and to the trail that led down to the small gazebo Brock had built Lincoln for Christmas.

  “Do you want to talk about John?”

  My head snapped around to look at her. “John?” I asked with a surprised voice. Instant guilt swept over my body. Lincoln had thought I’d meant John, when in reality, it had been Ty I’d spoken about. I chewed nervously on my lip.

  Lincoln stopped walking and faced me. “Isn’t that who you were . . .”

  I felt my cheeks heat and tears threatening to build, but I held them back.

  Shaking her head, Lincoln took my hand in hers. “Oh, it wasn’t John you were thinking about. I didn’t mean to make you feel sad.”

  “I’m not sad—I feel guilty,” I said, a bit too defensively. It was okay if I still felt sad about John. I knew that. I had loved him. I was going to marry him. But the feelings I now had for Ty were much more intense.

  “You know he would want you to be happy, Kaylee. It’s been years, and you haven’t gone out with anyone.”

  “I’ve gone out on a couple of dates.”

  She raised a brow. “Did you feel anything for those couple of guys?”

  “Well, no, but no one has caught my attention.”

  “Until Ty.”

  With a nod, then a sigh, I replied, “Yeah. Ty. The pain-in-my-ass brother-in-law of yours whom I can’t stop thinking about. In every way. Every position. Hell, I even have weird, kinky dreams where he ties me up with a rope.”

  Lincoln laughed. “It’s never been a secret you’ve found him attractive. I just thought you’d moved on.”

  “Yeah, so did I. Apparently my body hasn’t gotten the memo. Even my heart is a little bit to blame as well. The bitch.”

  “Kaylee, have you thought about talking to him? Seeing where you both could go with this?”

  I let out a humorless laugh. “No. I mean, yes. I don’t know, Lincoln.”